OK so it's my first time and I'm kinda nervous. i have no idea how to do this, but i guess if everyone else is..... wait am i doin it right? is it gonna hurt? are u still gonna be friends with me after? oh well lets see......
where do i start, do i just tell u about my day? or how i feel? or what? ahhhhh "i don't know what the hell I'm talkin about."
what made me want to start this is, I'm currently sitting in this lonely nursery (at work) watching a baby fight with his pacifier, and I'm bored though i don't wanna do any "real" work. a few of my coworkers have blogs and i thought, "hey why not share my thoughts also." accept i don't think mine will be as interesting as theirs are. you see i don't have any funny little " spawn" running around and i really don't do much with my days.
even though i continue to write nasty little messages to myself on my bathroom mirror. (in dry erase marker of course) these notes are supposed to be inspirational but i usually just end up mad at the words rather than listening to them. (hahaha) for example i think the last note said, "stop eating so much fat ass" and/or "exercise or else!" then i go sit on the couch and watch the little dog get mad cause i won't take him outside for more than 10 minutes to piss and shit. it really is sad he's so cute, but it's way to f-ing hot out there. and i think that s why I'm unmotivated. i go out side and within 20 minutes my makeup has almost melted off my f-in face.
how have people lived like this for their whole lives? i mean Texas (well Austin) is awesome and all but wouldn't u rather have seasons and nice big trees and flowing rivers and GREEN grass? i do love country music though. i never really gave it a chance before but now it's great, sometimes its romantic or easy to listen to and sometimes it makes ya wanna cry or dance (which i wish someone would teach me how to do correctly) . anyway i like it. but really there is only one thing or should i say person that holds me here. I'll leave those choices up to him for now. so i go to work and sleep during the day and whenever i have the chance give him all the love i have.
though i could do without any of any thing. (well not love) but as far as living arrangements go i would be perfectly content with a remote island where i grew and killed my own food. as long as i had the sun, the water and the love i would be OK with the solitude. except i think josh would have to do all the growing i seem to kill most of the plants we get. (that's his department) oh and i would need a landing strip so our families could visit.
i have spent enough time away from my mother and sisters. since I'm not really a talk on the phone kinda person it's hard to keep up with each other. they always have so much goin on. sometimes i feel like I'm the last thing on their minds (which is OK-i understand) it's hard since it is so few a far in between the time we talk. i worry it seems we have less and less to talk about. I'm kinda hoping this [blog] will change that.
oh and maybe it will motivate me to get off my ass and do some sort of activity. at least that way I'll have something to f-ing talk about and i won't be so sappy. (haha) anyway whenever I'm here in the nursery i start thinking about things, life, love, friends etc. and when it's slow like tonight i get sappy and think of all the places I'd rather be. home with my man being #1 and watching true blood with Michele and/or Ali comes in as a close 2nd.
that's all good night
where do i start, do i just tell u about my day? or how i feel? or what? ahhhhh "i don't know what the hell I'm talkin about."
what made me want to start this is, I'm currently sitting in this lonely nursery (at work) watching a baby fight with his pacifier, and I'm bored though i don't wanna do any "real" work. a few of my coworkers have blogs and i thought, "hey why not share my thoughts also." accept i don't think mine will be as interesting as theirs are. you see i don't have any funny little " spawn" running around and i really don't do much with my days.
even though i continue to write nasty little messages to myself on my bathroom mirror. (in dry erase marker of course) these notes are supposed to be inspirational but i usually just end up mad at the words rather than listening to them. (hahaha) for example i think the last note said, "stop eating so much fat ass" and/or "exercise or else!" then i go sit on the couch and watch the little dog get mad cause i won't take him outside for more than 10 minutes to piss and shit. it really is sad he's so cute, but it's way to f-ing hot out there. and i think that s why I'm unmotivated. i go out side and within 20 minutes my makeup has almost melted off my f-in face.
how have people lived like this for their whole lives? i mean Texas (well Austin) is awesome and all but wouldn't u rather have seasons and nice big trees and flowing rivers and GREEN grass? i do love country music though. i never really gave it a chance before but now it's great, sometimes its romantic or easy to listen to and sometimes it makes ya wanna cry or dance (which i wish someone would teach me how to do correctly) . anyway i like it. but really there is only one thing or should i say person that holds me here. I'll leave those choices up to him for now. so i go to work and sleep during the day and whenever i have the chance give him all the love i have.
though i could do without any of any thing. (well not love) but as far as living arrangements go i would be perfectly content with a remote island where i grew and killed my own food. as long as i had the sun, the water and the love i would be OK with the solitude. except i think josh would have to do all the growing i seem to kill most of the plants we get. (that's his department) oh and i would need a landing strip so our families could visit.
i have spent enough time away from my mother and sisters. since I'm not really a talk on the phone kinda person it's hard to keep up with each other. they always have so much goin on. sometimes i feel like I'm the last thing on their minds (which is OK-i understand) it's hard since it is so few a far in between the time we talk. i worry it seems we have less and less to talk about. I'm kinda hoping this [blog] will change that.
oh and maybe it will motivate me to get off my ass and do some sort of activity. at least that way I'll have something to f-ing talk about and i won't be so sappy. (haha) anyway whenever I'm here in the nursery i start thinking about things, life, love, friends etc. and when it's slow like tonight i get sappy and think of all the places I'd rather be. home with my man being #1 and watching true blood with Michele and/or Ali comes in as a close 2nd.
that's all good night
